I Had a Dream About You

The moment those words land, something fascinating happens. The human ego—fragile, dramatic, and always ready for its close-up—immediately jumps to:

“Oh. It was romantic, wasn’t it?”

Of course it was. Clearly, you were the star of a deeply meaningful, emotionally rich, probably slow-motion, wind-in-your-hair kind of situation.

Because why wouldn’t you be?

Meanwhile, back in reality, dreams are less “cinematic masterpiece” and more “dumpster fire curated by your subconscious.”

Dreams are not love letters.

Dreams are not hidden confessions.

Dreams are what happen when your brain takes stress, leftovers from TikTok, a childhood memory, and one weird conversation from 2009, and throws them into a blender labeled “good luck.”

And yet—somehow—we hear “I dreamed about you” and assume we were irresistible.

Let me offer an alternative.

Maybe… you were the villain.

Not just any villain. Oh no. You were a full-blown, cape-wearing, monologue-delivering menace to society.

In my case? You were a sorceress.

A dramatic one.

The kind who doesn’t just destroy things—you explain why you’re destroying them. At length. With hand gestures.

There was a castle. Obviously.

There was lightning. Because subtlety is dead.

There was a battle. A serious one. None of this symbolic nonsense—this was full, cinematic chaos. Sparks flying. Cloaks billowing. Someone definitely yelled something like, “This ends tonight!”

Spoiler: it did.

For you.

Badly.

You lost. Decisively. Embarrassingly, even.

I stood victorious. The kingdom was saved. The villagers were thrilled. There was probably a parade. I’m assuming there were commemorative mugs because that feels like the kind of detail my brain would include.

And you? Gone. Defeated. Possibly dissolved into dramatic glitter or smoke.

Cut to real life, where you’re standing there like:

“Oh… you dreamed about me?”

Yes.

Just… not in the way your ego drafted the script.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: showing up in someone’s dream doesn’t make you special. It makes you available.

You didn’t inspire the plot. You were cast in it.

No audition. No callback. No control over your character arc.

One night you’re the love interest.

The next night you’re the villain.

The night after that you’re a talking squirrel driving a forklift for reasons no one—including the dreamer—can explain.

Dream logic has exactly zero respect for your reputation.

So the next time someone says:

“I had a dream about you,”

maybe don’t immediately assume it was flattering.

Maybe don’t assume it was romantic.

Maybe—just maybe—ask a follow-up question before mentally planning your wedding.

Because there’s a very real chance you were:

The final boss.

A substitute math teacher with a dark secret.

A pirate with poor decision-making skills.

A malfunctioning robot.

Or, in my case, a dramatically overconfident sorceress who absolutely did not win.

And honestly?

That version of you is way more interesting.